This is a diary of how my husband and I are getting Zombie Fit! Join us and don't get eaten alive! We are getting mentally and physically prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Become self sufficient and survive!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Forget the Zombie Apocalypse - it's an OAP Apocalypse!

On a recent trip down to Bournemouth to see the parents-in-law for a half-term holiday, we visited Stewarts Garden Centre in Christchurch. At first glance it seems like a larger-than-average garden centre with plenty to look at - and I like a well-stocked garden centre.
Now having children (a five year-old and a 15 month-old), they have a pretty regimented lunch time (around 12pm), as does every other pensioner in Dorset it seems.
Now, never underestimate the average hungry OAP with a coupon for a discounted lunch. They may seem frail and slow - but they can be vicious. Now one old person may be easy to deal with, but a hoard is a whole different ball game.
I'd never seen so many old people in such a confined space. I mean I know Bournemouth is a popular retirement destination, but this was frightening! The queue for the restaurant was huge. But we're healthy, so we thought we'd wait it out. The first old lady pushed in front of me at the cash till. I let it go - didn't want to be mean to the old dear. We sent Robin out with the pram to find a seat, but when he thought he'd got a table, the old folk would slowly move in and take the table.
An old lady cut me up when I was walking down an aisle to get to the table and my little boy nearly lost me. These people are ruthless - don't come between an old person and their lunch, and this is when it dawned on me - this is the perfect place to experience what it would be like in a hoard of hungry zombies - slow moving, smelly, hungry, and starting to decompose (the zombies).
So, head to your nearest garden centre mid-week when there's a deal on lunch. Make no mistake - you'll be scared.
Stewarts Garden Centres

That cranberry sauce was mighty tasty - and half price!

Sunday, October 23, 2011


Even the Beeb has picked up on our love for all things zombie! But how does the craze for the walking dead represent how we are collectively feeling in these tough financial times?

Are we turning away from our cosy, naive lives to face the fact that nothing can be relied on. Mass unemployment, rocky financial stability, high inflation, and rocketing oil prices... what will we have to face next? The undead? Maybe!

The report says that youth unemployment can give the young a sense of not being able to see a future for themselves. Without a future what is there? We've already seen the shocking rioting on the streets of our cities with children as young as 11 years-old looting. It took the police days to get control, so we know if there was an outbreak of anything nasty - the police would be useless!

Zombies may represent our fear of the future in these uncertain times.

BBC News - Zombie craze continues to infect popular culture

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Take to the trees!

Last weekend we explored the idea of climbing up trees to evade the zombie hoards.
As with any climbing or height based survival there will be pros and cons to keeping above the ground when any trouble starts.
We used a recent trip to GO APE! to test out our skills and our fitness. It was fun but really worked the upper body muscles. Luckily Holly's Bootcamp sessions paid off and my fitness held out long enough to traverse the three hour course. The best bits were how to get down in style....

... Here is the video of Holly's escape route test run!


We all used to climb trees as kids, and if you were really lucky your parents would let you build a tree house. As far fetched as living in the trees sounds, you can actually do OK up there.
The big problem for most people would be a fear of heights. If you fell you would be like falling fruit to the waiting zombies. Ropes and safety equipment are necessary, and obviously a roof or shelter would be required to keep you dry in any typical weather patterns. We could all learn a thing or two from the Kombai tree people.

Depending on your size of platform you could actually have a nice set up there. But you would need time to build and use high tension wires and cables to give yourself a proper home from home.

Now this is a tree house!!!!

So living in the trees may seem far fetched to some, but to others it would make a nice solution to your zombie infestation. Remember to work on those upper body training techniques just to be on the safe side!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Spot the obvious flaw in the Walking Dead (Season 2)

I recently saw the next season trailer for the new episode of the walking dead.
If you haven't seen it yet then you can watch it here: See if you can spot the obvious error from 2 minutes 20 seconds in!

Did you spot it?


Want to know what they did wrong......

Well...just as the zombie hoards are strolling through the parked cars, our intrepid team of survivors take the seemingly inspired option of hiding beneath the parked cars to escape the zombie hoards.

What!!! Did the main character learn nothing from his first series encounters?
Did he forget being surrounded while hiding under a parked tank!
There was even a big section of one program about them covering their own scent with bits of dead bodies to mask their smell before walking out in search of a means of transport.

Come on guys, get realistic! 
Being zombie fit means you can always gallop off in front of them.
Our choice would be to set off jogging at a steady pace and head for some safer ground. At the very least you could try and climb a tree!
These are not bears that are following you.
Playing dead won't save your skin, (or brains) as we all know a zombie's favourite smell is the synaptic 'juicey peach' that lives on your head. Your tasty brain smell that sends his congealed tastebuds crazy.

So you are unlikely to fair well hiding under a "insert car of your choice".

Jogging away from the oncoming zombie masses might not make for a tense storyline on TV, but it will allow you to survive longer than the entire second season of the Walking Dead!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Top Tits for Survival!

No that's not a typo! You see I started thinking about ways to best prepare for the zombie apocalypse and if we had to endure years of social collapse.

Now my eyesight could be better. I mean it's not that bad, but I like to see things crystal clear, so I wear my specs all the time. I've only got two pairs of glasses, so if anything happened to them and the local optician is now feasting on eyeballs instead of fixing them, come dusk, I'm gonna be worrying if it's a zombie coming to chow down on my face or Robin trying to give me a kiss.

So, maybe it would be a good idea to go and get my peepers lasered. Then I'll be free of my untrusty specs and will be able to distinguish my husband from the walking dead (hopefully).

Another thought I had was about silicone breasts (not in that way). What if you have a lovely set of enhanced bangers but then the apocalypse happens and we have to live without great healthcare and you can't even pay a surgeon to sew your leg back on, let alone sort out your fun bags.

Now, implants have a lifespan, so what happens when one of those silicone bags is rotting off and there's no anesthetic, no sterile operating theatres, no skilled cosmetic surgeons and no replacement silicone. Those lovely breasts could end up, at best causing you a lot of pain, at worst - killing you.

So, I think the best way to prepare is to become as low maintenance as possible. Don't get me wrong, you won't catch me foregoing fashion and mascara, but I hope my vanity won't become my undoing either.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Boot Camp - Session 2

I am proud of myself. I made it through the second session of Boot Camp - and believe me, I really didn't fancy going through all the torture again!

Today has been painful. Painful picking up the kids, painful turning the steering wheel of the car, even painful sitting on the loo (or sitting down - TMI!). So the thought of trying to throw my body into more exercise was not really something I would usually consider. But seeing as I've paid up for 10 sessions - I'm going (tight northerner!).

So, I took myself off to Holland & Barrett and got me some vitamin C (I've read that taking 500mg before exercise will help muscles heal quicker) and a massive bag of Dead Sea Salt for a big soak after the exercise ordeal.

Luckily tonight's session was a bit easier for me and even though I'm still aching from top to toe - I really enjoyed it.

We did interval training tonight with 20 second bouts of exercise and 10 seconds of rest for 4 minutes in total. After all that we had some fun with relay races before it got too dark and only did a couple of runs up the massive hill.

So I'm on my way to getting a little fitter and I've met some lovely people already. I need to keep it up to make sure I'm Zombie Fit!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Lean Mean Killing Machine? Getting there!

Okay, so I had my first session of Action Boot Camp last night and it was intense! I now know I'm really unfit.
We did an hour of training in the park starting with jogging on the spot, to jumping in the air, jumping jacks, press-ups (over 100), sit-ups (again, over 100) and then on for a jog to the next location. To be honest all the rest is a bit of a painful blur. But the session included hill running, burpees, tricep dips and a 2km run - part of which was up the a massive hill. It was at this point I didn't think I was going to recover. I'd fully abandoned the notion of jogging up the hill, and was slowly walking up, but my breathing was so heavy - I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something! I mean this is really the first constructive exercise I've done since I was 15 years-old! (19 years ago - NOOOO! Getting old).
So, I'm on my way to getting a bit fitter. Hopefully the next session tomorrow will be a little easier! But I will have to persist because there's no way I'm gonna be zombie fodder! And I will be a lean mean killing machine for sure! I know how Linda Hamilton felt now between Terminator 1 and Terminator 2! This is my Hamilton journey!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Walking Dead Survival Test

This is great! A survival test from The Walking Dead. It puts you on edge a little bit! My test results showed I am a tough chick - but I knew that already! Take the test, it's fun (and a little bit scary!).

The Walking Dead - Survival Test – AMC

Friday, August 19, 2011

Use your brain, while everyone else is having their's eaten!

There are many factors that will come into play in your quest to survive the zombie apocalypse.
Yes, fitness and survival skills will be necessary, but there is still a major element to survival which, when not kept in check,  can render the biggest and strongest of men as a jibbering wreck, unable to fight off those ever hungry zombies as they chow down on their weeping victim.

Your best weapon against zombies, or will yours be just another tasty snack?

You will need a survivors mindset!

Now, we all know that zombies like to eat them, but our brains hold the key in our survival and the survival of mankind. I found an interesting article which explores some of the key stages of survival phycology you may find yourself thinking about in times of zombie invasion, and other catastrophes.

Read the article here, and beef up those positive thoughts guaranteed to put you ahead of the rest!

So are you a glass half empty, or glass half full kind of person?

Don't let your thoughts drag you down!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Keep Those Gnashers Clean Or They Might Kill You!

Who would have thought that there would be a bigger threat to your life than those rotting, flesh-eating zombie beasts and it could actually be your pearly whites that become your ultimate downfall.

This is a great blog about how keeping those teeth nice and clean could save your life in the post apocalyptic world. Don't let gingivitis kill you. Live to fight another day!

Post-Apocalyptic Personal Hygiene: Brush Your Teeth or Die. | In Case of Survival

You May Die! Spartan Race

This looks ace! Of course I'd be applying if I was a little bit fitter! If you like a challenge - this is the race for you!

SPARTAN RACE Obstacle Racing - Spartan Sprint & Super Spartan obstacle course trail races and the Spartan Beast and Death Race endurance race

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Ways To Keep Fit Outdoors

This is a fantastic article on getting fit in the great outdoors courtesy of Go Outdoors. I think there's also other benefits in choosing to train outdoors - you can get all your equipment together which will no doubt be super handy when it comes to surviving the zombie apocalypse.

If you can't use your home as a fortress, you're going to have to escape and get somewhere a little more remote. Having broken-in hiking boots, all the camping and survival gear, and knowledge of the surrounding terrain will put you in lead when it comes to surviving the undead. Thanks Go Outdoors!

Top Ways to Keep Fit Outdoors | Go Outdoors Blog

Monday, August 15, 2011

Zombieland - There's a new number one rule!

Now I know the quote from the infamous Zombieland movie states "Rule number one = Cardio!" But I have a new rule number one for anyone aiming to make it in Zombieland or any other land of the walking (or running) dead.

And here is it ...

Rule number one = Stretch!

That's right, and you heard it here first. There is no point in having the cardio rule if after 30 seconds of flat out sprint, you pull a hamstring or tear a thigh muscle. No amount of cardio fitness will allow you to keep running on to safety unless you keep yourself supple and ready to be active.
So a good warm up routine is needed, and even more important (and one you never get to see in the films) a good warm down routine as well. This will help keep your tendons and muscles stretched and ready for action.

How do I know this? I hear you say. Because it happened to me last week.
I pulled a thigh muscle and a week later I am still feeling the pinch.

So what went wrong?

It all started with me practising skipping with my son's pink kiddy skipping rope. Skipping is a good exercise which is practiced by many a boxer in training. Good for building stamina, it is also a real killer on the legs and heart. I thought I was doing really well as I managed to do 6 sets of 50 skip rotations with about 30 seconds rest in between. I kept up this skipping routine for about three evenings in the back garden. But I neglected to warm up as kids never seem to warm up when they skip. No harm done I or so I thought.

Until...I found myself running around playing five-a-side football a few days later. I ran up to kick the ball and 'Twang', I felt a horrid cramp in my thigh as my foot connected with the ball. I was in agony!

Owing to the fact I had not stretched properly after my skipping venture, I had all this lactic acid from the 'muscle burn' which was sat in my thigh muscles. Lesson well and truely learnt. Warm up, keep supple and warm down after excercising. Because without doing so, no rules for cardio will save you when the zombies come running.

How To Warm-Up

Here's a good one to watch about warming up. Don't let an injury stop your training. Zombies don't feel pain - you will! Don't be beaten!

This is also good to watch to have a bit of a laugh at the folks doing the warm-up! They look funny, and you will look funny too, but you'll be having the last laugh when you're getting away from those smelly, blood thirsty, flesh hungry undead dudes. The joke will be on office boy tucking into his next doughnut - don't be him! Fodder!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Fartlek For Your Life!

Now most people would be shouting 'run for your life', but when it comes to building stamina for running, nothing beats a good fartlek!

What is Fartlekking?
More recently known as interval training, Fartlek was a technique developed by Swedish trainer Gosta Holme way back in 1937. I also read somewhere that his technique is based on children's games and the way they mix up their play. Rather than running round at one constant speed they build stamina by running, then walking, then running around some more. As a father to a four and a half year old, I can see my son's stamina building in this way everytime we play in the park.
So we're trying this technique in our runs around the block and by varying our speed when training we hope to build up the aerobic stamina quicker and more effectively than solid one speed running.

Has someone been Fartlekking?

Break up your running.

I am using the distance between lamposts as markers, and alternating with a fast sprint, medium speed jog, followed by fast walking pattern.
The most noticible effect this has is that it breaks up your run, is more fun, and seems to get easier as we run every few nights. I feel like the run round the block needs to be extended to make better use of this technique and help build more stamina.

So it's a big thumbs up for fartlekking, from us!

Friday, August 5, 2011

I Deserve To Be Eaten!

I've been very bad this week and I'm feeling it now. After eating half a Happy Meal, coffee, biscuits, two rounds of berry ice cream, fish and chips (with gravy, mushy peas, baked beans and ketchup) - I'm feeling pretty sick and out of shape.

I haven't done any training this week either, just a few long walks. I have certainly let my training to become Zombie Fit slip. So - no more! I don't feel particularly well for not being more disciplined, so this is the end of my greedy ways - I'm not going to be zombie fodder!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Knackered Knee! Someone Hold Off Those Zombies!

What's happened to my body? It's not playing ball at all. I'm on my second cold in two weeks and now my knee and ankle have given up! I was quite enjoying the training too!

We've been taking it in turns (someone has to listen out for the kids!) running around our block. It takes us around two minutes, so whilst I set off, Robin can recover and vice versa. It's our version of interval training and I find it more manageable than doing a huge run.

I've been enjoying it too. Each time it gets a little easier and I feel I recover quicker as well.

I've never really seen the point in running. Always thought it was a sport without any outcome - just boring running. Although as a child I was never sporty, I was a dancer. But when I'm running now and I imagine being chased by a pack of zombies - I see the point! And even if I was being chased by a rapist or mugger (take your pick), I wouldn't have got far at all. So I now see the point! I also feel a lot better (barring the knee, ankle and cold!). Breathing seems easier and my lungs feel big and airy!

A couple of days off for me and then I hope I'll be back in the training way again! I can't give up - it's just not in my nature!

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Apocalypse Larder! How Much Food Will You Need?

So, you've got all fit - you could outrun any zombie and it's mate. You are a skilled ninja and you could decapitate one of those ugly beasts with your eyes closed. But what happens when you're living through it all and you don't have much in the fridge and the tap doesn't seem to behaving like it's normal self? Are you going to start killing the living to get your hands on a sandwich and Coke? Or would it just have been wiser to get your Apocalypse Larder in shape? Yes!

Here's a great little tool provided by the Latter-day Saints for calculating how much food you will need to store to keep you and your family going for a year if things went a bit crazy! The Food Storage Calculator just needs you to input the number of family members you have and then you can run out to the shops and start stocking your apocalypse larder! The only difficulty is that it's in pounds, so if you're European, you'll just have to convert the amounts to grams!

The LDS believe that it's members should be prepared for emergencies and natural disasters. "The Church and its members are commanded by the Lord to be self-reliant and independent" (D&C 78:13-14). So they have some good advice for being prepared for the worst - glass half empty me thinks!

Of course you need to be able to utilise you larder properly as even the food with the longest use-by-date will soon go out-of-date if it's left festering. So you need to run your Apocalypse Larder like a mini supermarket and use stock rotation. Always using the oldest first. You should also only stock food that you know how to cook and use everyday.

It would also be wise to have at least two weeks worth of water per person, clothing, fuel, and a first aid kit in case of an emergency is essential. It is also worth thinking about cleaning products like bleach and soap.

The Apocalypse Larder should contain foods such as grains (rice, flour, corn, quinoa, oats, pasta), legumes (beans, peas, lentils, peanuts), cooking oil, powdered milk, salt, sugar or honey, and water. I also think tinned fish is a great addition to any larder - anchovies, sardines, tuna and salmon. It might also be wise to keep white vinegar and bicarbonate of soda - great for many tasks.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Hot Zombie! Should Getting Zombie Fit Be This Much Fun?

You can't take a brake from training - no way! So when I was required to go to Alicante, Spain, at short notice, I certainly couldn't let that interfere with my quest to becoming zombie fit. Those zombies will wait for no one. So, what have I been up to? Well it's been 33C here most days, so running has been a bit out of the question in this heat. So I've been having a lovely early morning swim to keep up my training. But this is fun. Swimming in a gorgeous place, drying out in the morning sun - this is what I call training! And I don't think zombies would last very long here. I think they would decay very quickly and maybe the mid day sun would just fry their brains? If we devised a magnifying hat for zombies - that would just explode their heads in heat of the day. Job done. I think sometimes I'm a genius!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Day 6 - Some thoughts about the past week

So this week has been a busy one, but the sixth day is always the true test.
Usually the novelty of what you do wears off within six days. I remember being young and wanting to keep a diary for the year. My intentions were good so the first week of January was always complete. Then the dates would became more sporadic.Fast forward to Easter before things really picked back up, but then that was pretty much it for the year. This happened about three years in a row.

I am reminded of the film 28 days later. If I applied that kind of commitment things would fizzle before the first week. You may find that zombie hoards turn on themselves within a week, but if your caught and eaten before then (due to lack of fitness) then you will never know.

More than one day may be required! How about another 27?

But now, it's confession time!

I may have had a beer or two during the week.

But you know what? That's OK. Going from 'zero to hero' is just not sustainable and this is where many fitness routines let you down.They expect a 100% commitment from the start. But we humans are not designed that way. (Zombies maybe - but then they are the guys we love to run away from).
As humans, it's a well known fact that it's in our nature to be lazy

We have to look at this new fitness not so much as a regime, but as a change in habit, that's all.
Fitness has to be developed, it's not an absolute on/off thing. Our attitude to fitness has to be developed in the same way as our stamina. Small steps, some recovery, then small steps once again.

Release your inner 'Fitness Child' not your inner zombie child!

Like a shy seven year old, we have to coax our fitness confidence out with positive praise, not by getting upset when they don't do as we say. Any self defeat you feel internally will scare that 'fitness child' back into hiding. So rule number one! Go easy on yourself. 
Many people find it hard to go easy on themselves, but what you have to remember is IF you are one of a handful of survivors, you may have to get used to being nice to yourself. You will need to be the best friend to yourself, especially in a time of crisis. Who else will look out for you and watch your back.
So back to reviewing these first six days.

Instead, let's turn our attention to the good things we did.

Myself and my wife have done at least two evenings running round the block. Much to the worry of our new neighbours I suspect, as every few minutes one of our reddened faces and breathy gasps passes their front window while they sit comfortably trying to watch the TV.

I have been doing a set of 20 stomach crunches every day, and I am now past the initial pain barrier which I felt up until yesterday. I keep telling myself - Yeah! I may be sore, but it's better than a chomp from a zombie, and the inevitable craving for 'Brains' that ensues.

I tried out more squats from the test a couple of evenings which hurt less, and I did more jogging on the spot on the evening when the weather was rainy.

So all in all the last six days have been good. I feel slightly better each day.
My heart rate recovery feels better, though I just may be used to the feeling of the old ticker pumping away after a run, and I actually feel proud of myself when I do the third run in a similar time to the first two, even when I think I have been running slower.

Get fit with a friend!
It has helped going through this with my wife as I have someone to share the experience with, so a buddy system may yield you better results if you feel your motivation is wavering. However, my wife will be away until Monday, so this will test my commitment to myself.

What next...
We now have some great spreadsheets to track the results over the next three months (big thanks to Stu for those) so it will feel good to do the first week updates and pictures to see what changes have occurred if any. Remember this is only the first week and we are not expecting miracles.
I'll get these spreadsheets set up for as part of our starter pack if anyone is interested in joining in with us to get Zombie fit.

And Finally!
Be nice to yourself but keep up the good work.
Just think, one week ago we just wouldn't have done anything like what we did this week!
So a starting is really the biggest challenge to overcome.
And if you still think it's difficult to break your bad habits -try reading this.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

It's all in the mind!

Now although we will be looking at physical fitness in depth. It goes without saying that one key ingredient in your survival will be your mindset.
As a mass crowd of  zombies come stomping into your town, you want to be able to do your thing - not stand there crying like a baby in a pool of your own wee-wee!
Believe me when I say that even the biggest of men and strongest of women would be frightened by such a sight as it tore up the grass in their picture perfect world.

Let's face it..... These people are not here to give you a hug!

So what do can you do about it?
Accept what you see!

Be as cool as George Clooney's character in Dusk till Dawn, who gets busy formulating a plan of action while pulling a pool cue out of his vampire brothers' recently beating heart. Assess the situation quickly and without panic and look for your best place to hide, or find your initial weapon of choice.

How do you deal with bad news?

It is common theory that humans have to undergo 5 stages when encountering bad news. The most famous is the research done by Kubler-Ross who indicate these as:
  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Grieving
  5. Acceptance
So you may not have the time to work through these one by one, and form a plan of escape.
So bite the bullet and accept what you see, don't be one of those disposable film characters who walk up to a shuffling zombie to see if they are OK, only to be snatched and chomped on the shoulder.
My advice, grab your beloved ones and go.
Once you are hunkered down in the saftey of your hiding place then you can work through the other stages.

If it helps, tell yourself you are in a game or film, and pretend to go through as if it's being played out to hidden cameras. Just remember in times of crisis such as an uprising of the dead - those who turn and run away, live to deal with their emotions another day!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

How Fast Can a Zombie Run?

So it's day two, and our fitness regime has progressed to running. 
Now it's unclear across many zombie films, exactly how fast your average zombie can run.

Many of the traditional thinkers opt for a slow dragging, foot shuffle, hence the term Walking Dead. But then there is your modern sprinting zombie, as featured in 28 Days Later. The threat here is the relentless speed of these urban zombies. Now it becomes an issue of not how fast you have to run, but how fast and for how long.
We're talking serious stamina for keeping such a fast pace over open ground.
As of right now, I know I couldn't keep that up for more than a minute or two. How about you?

Anyone fancy a quick run around the block?

Time to think about stamina and fast recovery training, to really get into shape.
OK, so it's only around the block, but if zombies arrive in the neighbourhood then it will be more than likely we would need to dash round a street or two looking for supplies.

So myself and the wife are aiming to build some stamina with a quick once round the block, followed by a quick recovery.

The distance is about 350 metres each run and we're trying to build up to four runs in quick succession. We figure this would get us some distance from any hungry hoardes, and put some decent distance bewteen us and the ones who missed out on their training!

Tonight I manage three, and holly hits a respectable two, but she shaved an impressive 25 seconds off her second run. I tire by the third run and my lungs feel a bit sticky - like doing sports as a kid on a cold winter morning! So my time gains by 10 seconds over the three runs.

So here are the stats for our first nights run.
  • Run 1 - 2 mintues 44 seconds
  • Run 2 - 2 mintues 19 seconds

  • Run 1 - 2 mintues 5 seconds
  • Run 2 - 2 mintues 8 seconds
  • Run 3 - 2 mintues 15 seconds

Now we have our benchmark stats to measure our progress for the next three months.
By the end of the runs we already felt the recovery time was shorter than the previous run.
Our aim is to extend the area of the runs to build up the distance each time.

How about you? 
What does your local block look like for a quick run and recovery session?

If you are interested in getting Zombie fit, then email us and we'll send you the full details so we can track your progress and work through the process with you.

Monday, July 11, 2011

It's time to get Zombie Fit!

With all the public attention focused on zombies in the recent on-screen drama The Walking Dead, me and my wife got round to thinking about practical zombie musings, like: 
  • Can zombies swim?
  • Do zombies get embarrased when they trump?
  • And the biggest question of all... how long would both of us survive in a zombie apocalypse?
Now's the time you really do not want to get a cramp in your leg!

Now I like to think I am calm in a crisis. I possess logical thought processes and I have good practical skills. But when it comes down to it, how do any of us know what we would be like if the undead arrived for dinner unexpectedly.

So we looked at the practical issues concerning survival in a newly apocalypical town.

Issue 1: Fitness
I, like many others, have the kind of work that sees me sitting in front of a computer screen for most of the day. I'd say I was healthy, but could do with a little toning up here and there. I like my food, but as the father to two little kids, I try to watch what I eat. I have to admit though, the thought of running for my life up and down the streets, makes me realise I am not as fit as I used to be. It's more likely you'd see me bent double by a killer stitch, while zombies chow down on my ass!

Issue 2: Survival Skills
Now I used to be a cub scout, so I know my way around basic fire building skills and I come armed with an arsenal of camp fire songs. But give me a rabbit to skin or a fishing rod and I'm left hungry. So brushing up on the practical skills can't bring anything but benefits to my survival chances. Plus, whoever survives is less likely to want to get rid of the one person who can make fires, cook a rabbit stew and whittle a nice wooden chair to sit on.

So my wife and I have given ourselves a time limit of around twelve weeks to shape up and hone our skills so that we can become zombie fit, not zombie fodder!
You can join us in our quest by emailing us about your interest, or simply follow our progress through the next few months. Just remember as you're running away from a horde of flesh hungry running dead, it'll be us zooming off ahead of you.

As someone famous once said, "we don't need to run the fastest, we just need to run faster than the slowest person in front of us". Is that person going to be you, or are you going to be zombie fit too?

We'll be posting up some training schedules, free PDFs and other Zombie Fit details. So make sure to keep visiting or sign up for our newsletter to keep updated of our adventure.

The First Fitness Stats! We'd Be Zombie Fodder!

"Son - you're gonna get ravaged by some flesh eatin', blood drinkin', dead dude if you don't shape up!"
That is the drill sergeant in my head! And there's nothing like survival to give you motivation!
Here's our first vital stats:

Our first fitness results = Zombie Fodder!

Weight: 14.5 stone / 203lbs / 92kilos
Height: 6ft
Waist: 40"
Chest: 42"
Biceps: 14"
Thighs: 22"

Weight: 12 stone 9lbs / 177lbs / 81 kilos
Height: 5ft 10"
Waist: 37"
Hips: 44"
Chest: 41"
Biceps: 12.5"
Thighs: 20"
We devised a sort of fitness test to see how really unfit we are. Obviously, when your belly's giggling up and down whilst you're jogging - and quite frankly, it hurts - it's time to shape up!
We started with jogging on the spot for 1 minute, then push-ups, touching toes, sit-ups, squats, and the vertical jump test. So, here are the results:

PUSH UPS                   Robin 20 - average                      Holly - 6 - below average
JOGGING                    Robin 1min 23 secs to recover     Holly 1min 16 secs to recover
TOUCHING TOES      Robin -1.5 inches off ground        Holly - hands flat on floor
SIT-UPS                       Robin - 18 - poor                        Holly - 31 - above average
SQUATS                      Robin - 33 - excellent                  Holly - 28 - excellent
VERTICAL JUMP       Robin - 111" above average         Holly - 98" - below average

So there we go. I can't jump and I'm aerobically unfit, Robin is also aerobically unfit and needs more work on his abs. This means business! We'll record our fitness level and stats each week and see how we progress. In the meanwhile, lets hope the zombie apocalypse can wait a bit longer - I've got a belly to shift! If you want to join us in our quest and record your journey to zombie fit, let us know at or


It'd 5pm and I'm starving. Managed to avoid all biscuits today. Had Mean Muesli with prune and banana this morning, then dragged the family to Decathlon to stock up on running shoes, running outfit, yoga mat and paper target. IKEA happens to be near by, so we stopped in to have snacks. I managed to have a coffee with less milk and sugar. Then had half an egg sandwich, banana and handful of Brazil nuts for lunch. Met up with Robin and had half a latte (bad). Bought a load of corn crackers, rice crackers with sea vegetables and wild rice from the health food store. Although have tried two if the corn crackers and had another couple of Brazil nuts. Now I've got to cook dinner.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Time to Shape-Up or Get Eaten!

The first steps will always be the hardest, but I think I'm going to have to give up my beloved lattes! No! Even though I love them so, it's just too much milk and sugar in one cup (and with the obligitory biscuits of course!). So from now on I'm going to be having black coffee and as little sugar as I can manage. Need to get rid of the flab and becoming zombie fighting fit!

Would I be ready for the Zombie Apocalypse?

Shawn of the Dead Zombies
I'm Holly Smith-Williams, 34 years old, mother of a son (4 years old) and a daughter (1 year old). My life consists of cooking, cleaning, wiping noses, looking after my children and husband, and shopping - not very 21st century. But I have an obsession and I don't think it's the norm for a near middle aged and middle class mother. My obsession is with survival. If anything were to happen, I'd hope I'd be able to protect my babies and survive. I long for self sufficiency - to be in the middle of the countryside and be totally self reliant.

You see I'm a bit of a control freak and don't like the thought of anyone being able to have the say whether my family and I live or die. We are so reliant on big companies for water, fuel, power and food. If anything happens to any of these, there's only a small amount of time before things go wrong. What with pandemics, natural disasters and wars - we need to be ready to survive!

Having recently started reading Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide, I came to thinking, am I really zombie fit? Would I really be able to survive the zombie apocalypse? I may have the will within me - but is that enough? I think not. I could certainly do with some work. I've never really been aerobically fit and have about three stone (42 pounds) of baby weight to lose. I don't think I'd last long being chased - no way! I also have no weaponry training or combat experience, so these are areas I could do with learning.

This blog is the diary of becoming zombie fit. My husband, Robin, is joining me on this journey. Maybe you will join us too! Sign up for all the up-dates and guide to becoming Zombie Fit!
This is Robin before a zombie nibble...
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