This is a diary of how my husband and I are getting Zombie Fit! Join us and don't get eaten alive! We are getting mentally and physically prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Become self sufficient and survive!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Forget the Zombie Apocalypse - it's an OAP Apocalypse!

On a recent trip down to Bournemouth to see the parents-in-law for a half-term holiday, we visited Stewarts Garden Centre in Christchurch. At first glance it seems like a larger-than-average garden centre with plenty to look at - and I like a well-stocked garden centre.
Now having children (a five year-old and a 15 month-old), they have a pretty regimented lunch time (around 12pm), as does every other pensioner in Dorset it seems.
Now, never underestimate the average hungry OAP with a coupon for a discounted lunch. They may seem frail and slow - but they can be vicious. Now one old person may be easy to deal with, but a hoard is a whole different ball game.
I'd never seen so many old people in such a confined space. I mean I know Bournemouth is a popular retirement destination, but this was frightening! The queue for the restaurant was huge. But we're healthy, so we thought we'd wait it out. The first old lady pushed in front of me at the cash till. I let it go - didn't want to be mean to the old dear. We sent Robin out with the pram to find a seat, but when he thought he'd got a table, the old folk would slowly move in and take the table.
An old lady cut me up when I was walking down an aisle to get to the table and my little boy nearly lost me. These people are ruthless - don't come between an old person and their lunch, and this is when it dawned on me - this is the perfect place to experience what it would be like in a hoard of hungry zombies - slow moving, smelly, hungry, and starting to decompose (the zombies).
So, head to your nearest garden centre mid-week when there's a deal on lunch. Make no mistake - you'll be scared.
Stewarts Garden Centres


That cranberry sauce was mighty tasty - and half price!

1 comment:

  1. Ha! I never thought about this, but it's so true. I'll take extra precautions the next time I'm out and about at lunch time :)

    ReplyDelete

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