This is a diary of how my husband and I are getting Zombie Fit! Join us and don't get eaten alive! We are getting mentally and physically prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Become self sufficient and survive!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Spot the obvious flaw in the Walking Dead (Season 2)

I recently saw the next season trailer for the new episode of the walking dead.
If you haven't seen it yet then you can watch it here: See if you can spot the obvious error from 2 minutes 20 seconds in!

Did you spot it?


Want to know what they did wrong......

Well...just as the zombie hoards are strolling through the parked cars, our intrepid team of survivors take the seemingly inspired option of hiding beneath the parked cars to escape the zombie hoards.

What!!! Did the main character learn nothing from his first series encounters?
Did he forget being surrounded while hiding under a parked tank!
There was even a big section of one program about them covering their own scent with bits of dead bodies to mask their smell before walking out in search of a means of transport.

Come on guys, get realistic! 
Being zombie fit means you can always gallop off in front of them.
Our choice would be to set off jogging at a steady pace and head for some safer ground. At the very least you could try and climb a tree!
These are not bears that are following you.
Playing dead won't save your skin, (or brains) as we all know a zombie's favourite smell is the synaptic 'juicey peach' that lives on your head. Your tasty brain smell that sends his congealed tastebuds crazy.

So you are unlikely to fair well hiding under a "insert car of your choice".

Jogging away from the oncoming zombie masses might not make for a tense storyline on TV, but it will allow you to survive longer than the entire second season of the Walking Dead!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Top Tits for Survival!

No that's not a typo! You see I started thinking about ways to best prepare for the zombie apocalypse and if we had to endure years of social collapse.

Now my eyesight could be better. I mean it's not that bad, but I like to see things crystal clear, so I wear my specs all the time. I've only got two pairs of glasses, so if anything happened to them and the local optician is now feasting on eyeballs instead of fixing them, come dusk, I'm gonna be worrying if it's a zombie coming to chow down on my face or Robin trying to give me a kiss.

So, maybe it would be a good idea to go and get my peepers lasered. Then I'll be free of my untrusty specs and will be able to distinguish my husband from the walking dead (hopefully).

Another thought I had was about silicone breasts (not in that way). What if you have a lovely set of enhanced bangers but then the apocalypse happens and we have to live without great healthcare and you can't even pay a surgeon to sew your leg back on, let alone sort out your fun bags.

Now, implants have a lifespan, so what happens when one of those silicone bags is rotting off and there's no anesthetic, no sterile operating theatres, no skilled cosmetic surgeons and no replacement silicone. Those lovely breasts could end up, at best causing you a lot of pain, at worst - killing you.

So, I think the best way to prepare is to become as low maintenance as possible. Don't get me wrong, you won't catch me foregoing fashion and mascara, but I hope my vanity won't become my undoing either.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Boot Camp - Session 2

I am proud of myself. I made it through the second session of Boot Camp - and believe me, I really didn't fancy going through all the torture again!

Today has been painful. Painful picking up the kids, painful turning the steering wheel of the car, even painful sitting on the loo (or sitting down - TMI!). So the thought of trying to throw my body into more exercise was not really something I would usually consider. But seeing as I've paid up for 10 sessions - I'm going (tight northerner!).

So, I took myself off to Holland & Barrett and got me some vitamin C (I've read that taking 500mg before exercise will help muscles heal quicker) and a massive bag of Dead Sea Salt for a big soak after the exercise ordeal.

Luckily tonight's session was a bit easier for me and even though I'm still aching from top to toe - I really enjoyed it.

We did interval training tonight with 20 second bouts of exercise and 10 seconds of rest for 4 minutes in total. After all that we had some fun with relay races before it got too dark and only did a couple of runs up the massive hill.

So I'm on my way to getting a little fitter and I've met some lovely people already. I need to keep it up to make sure I'm Zombie Fit!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Lean Mean Killing Machine? Getting there!

Okay, so I had my first session of Action Boot Camp last night and it was intense! I now know I'm really unfit.
We did an hour of training in the park starting with jogging on the spot, to jumping in the air, jumping jacks, press-ups (over 100), sit-ups (again, over 100) and then on for a jog to the next location. To be honest all the rest is a bit of a painful blur. But the session included hill running, burpees, tricep dips and a 2km run - part of which was up the a massive hill. It was at this point I didn't think I was going to recover. I'd fully abandoned the notion of jogging up the hill, and was slowly walking up, but my breathing was so heavy - I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something! I mean this is really the first constructive exercise I've done since I was 15 years-old! (19 years ago - NOOOO! Getting old).
So, I'm on my way to getting a bit fitter. Hopefully the next session tomorrow will be a little easier! But I will have to persist because there's no way I'm gonna be zombie fodder! And I will be a lean mean killing machine for sure! I know how Linda Hamilton felt now between Terminator 1 and Terminator 2! This is my Hamilton journey!

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