This is a diary of how my husband and I are getting Zombie Fit! Join us and don't get eaten alive! We are getting mentally and physically prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Become self sufficient and survive!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Forget the Zombie Apocalypse - it's an OAP Apocalypse!

On a recent trip down to Bournemouth to see the parents-in-law for a half-term holiday, we visited Stewarts Garden Centre in Christchurch. At first glance it seems like a larger-than-average garden centre with plenty to look at - and I like a well-stocked garden centre.
Now having children (a five year-old and a 15 month-old), they have a pretty regimented lunch time (around 12pm), as does every other pensioner in Dorset it seems.
Now, never underestimate the average hungry OAP with a coupon for a discounted lunch. They may seem frail and slow - but they can be vicious. Now one old person may be easy to deal with, but a hoard is a whole different ball game.
I'd never seen so many old people in such a confined space. I mean I know Bournemouth is a popular retirement destination, but this was frightening! The queue for the restaurant was huge. But we're healthy, so we thought we'd wait it out. The first old lady pushed in front of me at the cash till. I let it go - didn't want to be mean to the old dear. We sent Robin out with the pram to find a seat, but when he thought he'd got a table, the old folk would slowly move in and take the table.
An old lady cut me up when I was walking down an aisle to get to the table and my little boy nearly lost me. These people are ruthless - don't come between an old person and their lunch, and this is when it dawned on me - this is the perfect place to experience what it would be like in a hoard of hungry zombies - slow moving, smelly, hungry, and starting to decompose (the zombies).
So, head to your nearest garden centre mid-week when there's a deal on lunch. Make no mistake - you'll be scared.
Stewarts Garden Centres


That cranberry sauce was mighty tasty - and half price!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

NEWS REPORT! ZOMBIES INVADE SOCIAL PSYCHE!

Even the Beeb has picked up on our love for all things zombie! But how does the craze for the walking dead represent how we are collectively feeling in these tough financial times?

Are we turning away from our cosy, naive lives to face the fact that nothing can be relied on. Mass unemployment, rocky financial stability, high inflation, and rocketing oil prices... what will we have to face next? The undead? Maybe!

The report says that youth unemployment can give the young a sense of not being able to see a future for themselves. Without a future what is there? We've already seen the shocking rioting on the streets of our cities with children as young as 11 years-old looting. It took the police days to get control, so we know if there was an outbreak of anything nasty - the police would be useless!

Zombies may represent our fear of the future in these uncertain times.

BBC News - Zombie craze continues to infect popular culture


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Take to the trees!

Last weekend we explored the idea of climbing up trees to evade the zombie hoards.
As with any climbing or height based survival there will be pros and cons to keeping above the ground when any trouble starts.
We used a recent trip to GO APE! to test out our skills and our fitness. It was fun but really worked the upper body muscles. Luckily Holly's Bootcamp sessions paid off and my fitness held out long enough to traverse the three hour course. The best bits were how to get down in style....

... Here is the video of Holly's escape route test run!

video 


We all used to climb trees as kids, and if you were really lucky your parents would let you build a tree house. As far fetched as living in the trees sounds, you can actually do OK up there.
The big problem for most people would be a fear of heights. If you fell you would be like falling fruit to the waiting zombies. Ropes and safety equipment are necessary, and obviously a roof or shelter would be required to keep you dry in any typical weather patterns. We could all learn a thing or two from the Kombai tree people.

Depending on your size of platform you could actually have a nice set up there. But you would need time to build and use high tension wires and cables to give yourself a proper home from home.

Now this is a tree house!!!!


So living in the trees may seem far fetched to some, but to others it would make a nice solution to your zombie infestation. Remember to work on those upper body training techniques just to be on the safe side!



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